


toph starts a bar fight

by withyr_wyther



Series: Toph starts a bar fight [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack Treated Seriously, Episode: s03e04 Sokka's Master, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Toph Being Awesome, sokka is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24764632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withyr_wyther/pseuds/withyr_wyther
Summary: Toph starts a bar fight
Relationships: Toph Beifong & The Gaang
Series: Toph starts a bar fight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825039
Comments: 7
Kudos: 112





	toph starts a bar fight

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say for myself for this but I had this idea in my head and now it's your problem too

Toph was bored, Katara was bored, and even Aang was bored. The three of them lay in a circle on the ground in front of Appa staring at the sky. If this was how it was going to be until Sokka got back from training with Piandao then he better hurry up and master the sword quickly or Toph was going to go insane. A breeze ghosted over her face, blowing a few loose strands of hair down into her eyes. Great, the most interesting thing to happen all day is a bit of wind. 

When did life get this boring? 

Judging by the way Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen’s breathing had changed, Toph would bet every bit of money that she had that they were thinking the same thing. They all knew that it was because Sokka wasn’t there making his stupid jokes and coming up with batshit crazy ideas, but it wasn’t like any of them would ever admit that. 

Katara jumped to her feet and took a step forwards before flopping back to the ground with a defeated sigh. “I’m bored,” she said. 

Toph counted the same twenty worms in the ground beneath them for the fifth time that hour. “Welcome to the club.” She rolled over onto her stomach and began to count the worms again. 

Aang pushed himself up on his elbows. “Come on guys,” he said sounding unfairly chipper, “Stop being so gloomy, there’s plenty we can do!” Toph felt him launch himself into the air and lightly touch down again a few seconds later, his feet barely making more vibrations than a feather. Twinkletoes. 

Katara huffs. “Like what?” 

Aang stutters for a minute, waving his hands around in the air. “We could… we could...go swimming?” he started. 

Toph gave an unamused shrug. “We did that a few days ago. Can’t you think of anything different?” 

“We could go exploring in the town?” he tried again. 

Now that. That was a good idea. Toph grinned and jumped to her feet. “Now you’re talking.”

Katara pulled herself to her feet. “That’s a really good idea Aang!” she said. “We can look in all the shops in the market and walk around and maybe we’ll see one of those street shows again!” They had run into a street performer a few towns back who used firebending to make little fire pictures in the air. Of course, Toph hadn’t been able to see if but based on the way the crowd had been ooing and the heat of the fire, it had been pretty impressive. 

Aang was practically vibrating in excitement at this point, bouncing from foot to foot. “Yeah! And maybe there will be a park that we can explore!” 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I want to find the spiciest thing I can and eat a bunch of it,” Toph added. And maybe bring some back to give to Sokka, she thought. It would be pretty funny to see his reaction would be. 

“Great!” Katara said and Toph could practically hear the smile in her voice, “Let’s get going then!” 

  
After making sure Appa and Momo would be alright alone for a bit, the small group headed into the town. Before long they found themselves back in front of the weapons store from earlier. The three of them stood in a line facing down the street scanning the storefronts for something that looked interesting. 

Aang spotted a booth selling assorted tin whistles that sounded like animals when you blew them. They spent a few minutes trying out the different ones and laughing at them. Toph particularly liked the turtleduck one and made a mental note to get one before they left the town. 

They wandered around for about another hour, letting Katara drag them into and out of various clothing, book and whatever else shops. When they stopped at a small corner store that sold cooking pots and spoons Toph heard a heavy-set man arguing with an older one about cabbages. She could have sworn the old guy seemed vaguely familiar, but quickly shrugged it off as a pair of women walked past talking about a new restaurant that had apparently opened up in the square that week. 

“One of the best places in town,” one cried to the other in a high pitched voice, “Best fire flakes I’ve had in a long time.”

The other giggled. “Oh, you mean that new place by the shoe store? I agree it’s incredible, Lee and I went last night and we are definitely going back.” 

They faded out of ear shot and Toph’s stomach rumbled, suddenly remembering her promise to eat spicy food. She turned to Aang who was busy stacking as many spoons on top of each other as he could. 

“Let's go there next,” she said. He turned around to face her.  
“Go where?” 

“That restaurant those ladies were just talking about, Twinkletoes. You might be able to survive on spirit energy or whatever, but the rest of us have to eat normal people food.”  
He frowned. “I do eat normal people food. I just don’t eat meat, but sure, sounds like fun.” 

“Whatever,” Toph said, her stomach growling again. “Let’s go find Katara, because I am hunnnnngry!” 

Katara, as it turned out, was already looking for them. She practically barrelled over them as they exited the pot shop, causing Aang to make a squawking sound worthy of Sokka when Momo ate his jerky again. 

“Look what I got!” she said and held something up to show them. 

“Wow! It’s really pretty!” Toph said. 

“Thanks Toph, I’m really glad you think- Hey!” she cried. “Would you stop doing that?” 

“Never.” 

Katara made a pff noise. “Anyway, it’s a necklace with a carving of a firelilly on it. I thought that since I couldn’t wear mine, I might as well wear this one.” 

“It’s beautiful Katara,” Aang said, his voice taking on a stupidly soft tone that he got whenever talking to Katara. It was sickeningly sweet, but kind of adorable if Toph was being honest. 

“Yeah, I’m sure its beautiful Katara,” she said. 

“Thanks guys.” There was a pause and a rustling as she put on the necklace. “What next?” 

Toph smirked. “Well, I heard that there is this great new restaurant on the square that we simply just have to try.” 

“Alright lets go. Do you know what it’s called?” Katara asked. 

“I have absolutely no idea. This should be fun.” 

As it turns out, looking for a restaurant that you don’t know the name of is not fun. They got turned around twice in the streets trying to find it. Once because Aang said that he was sure it was down what Katara called a ‘creepy alleyway’ and ended up in a fancy rich neighborhood that took half an hour to get out of, and again because it turned out that there were two town squares and the restaurant was in the other one. Why this place needed to have two squares was beyond Toph, but she figured it would just make her head hurt if she thought about it too much. 

So by the time they finally made it to the restaurant, she was starving, so could you really blame her for what happened next? 

As it turned out, the place was a bar. Toph could smell the alcohol permeating the room as soon as she stepped foot in the place, reminding her of the time she went to an Earth Rumble after party. It hadn’t been very fun for her, but the other competitors had turned out to be surprisingly nice. Fire Nation Man turned out to be a karaoke legend and knew all the staff at the place they had gone by name. Toph smiled at the memory, but she didn’t think this place would have karaoke. 

Meanwhile, Katara was having a minor breakdown next to her.“This is the ‘incredible restaurant’?” she wondered, sounding scandalized, “Really? It’s just a dingy looking pub!”

“Come on Katara,” Aang rang out from her other side. “Give this place a chance. And look,” he waved something through the air that Toph assumed was a menu. “They have a vegan menu.” 

Toph pat her on the shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Sugar Queen. Place with a reputation like this has got to be good.” 

Katara made a humming sound before letting out a long breath. “Alright,” she said. “But first sign of trouble and we’re leaving.” 

Toph shrugged. She could live with that. 

The three sat themselves at a round table in the corner as far away from the bar as they could get, and immediately began pouring over the options. After a while of listening to Aang debate between getting some kind of tofu soup or a banana smoothie, a waiter came over to take their orders. 

“I’ll have the spiciest thing you have,” Toph declared to the guy. 

“Are you sure Miss?” the waiter asked. 

“Positive,” she said. He nodded awkwardly, before turning to Katara who promptly ordered some fish and rice roll, and Aang who proudly stated that he would be eating a fine banana smoothie. 

“Is that all?” he asked. 

“Yes, thank you,” Katara replied. The waiter shifted his weight. “Your food will be out shortly,” he said and turned on his heel, disappearing into the crowd. 

A few minutes later he came back with the food, placing the dishes on their table with a heavy clunk. The spicy scent rising up from Toph’s food made her stomach rumble. Aang took a large slurp of his smoothie. “Yum!” he announced, “Best banana smoothie ever.” 

Katara laughed, and took a bite of her dish. “Oh, wow, this is really good. Want to try it Toph?” 

Toph shook her head. “Nah, I’m good with my spicy,” she said, taking a large bite out of her food. “Mmmmmm!” she exclaimed, eyes widening a bit. It turned out the spiciest thing on the menu here was spicy crunchy fried shrimp. And it was really good, and really spicy. Toph swallowed her food, the spice burning in the back of her throat. “Yum!” 

Katara probably rolled her eyes. Aang just slurped his smoothie. They continued eating for a while, chatting among themselves. 

“So then,” Aang continued, “He said, I’m perfectly breezy, and flew away.” He slammed down his cup and grinned. 

“Sorry Aang, but I think Air Nomad jokes are funnier when telling them to actual Air Nomads,” she said, taking another bite of her delicious spicy, spicy meal. 

“I thought it was funny,” Katara said. 

Toph rolled her eyes, going to take another bite when a huge heavy man walked up to them. 

“Hey Blind Girl,” he said in a voice that sounded like he regularly ate gravel as a snack. “You got that spicy food?” 

Toph turned her head towards him. “Yeah,” she drawled, “And what of it?” 

The man leaned in. “You got the last one. There won’t be anymore till tomorrow, and me and my boys here,” he paused, assumably gesturing to people behind him, “Know that the spicy is the best thing on the menu. So give us what you got and walk away, and we promise to leave you alone.” 

Toph was silent. “You can’t be serious,” Katara said. “Are you really threatening us over food?” 

The man shifted towards her. “Yes, I am. That there spicy is the best, and me and my boys deserve best. No one around here messes with The Big Osoza.” 

Toph snorted into her drink. That had to be the most ridiculous name she had ever heard. The Big Osoza turned towards her. 

“You think my name is funny, do you?” 

“Yeah, and what of it?” Toph felt The Big Osoza’s heart rate spike. Oh boy he was real mad now. 

“No one messes with The Big Osoza. Nobody,” he growled. Aang started to say something. Probably Let it go Toph, he’s not worth it or something equally as stuffy, but before he could get the words out Toph did the first thing she could think of, and punched The Big Osoza in the nose. 

Her fist made contact with a satisfying crack, and she felt his head snap backwards as Aang and Katara yelled in shock. The Big Osoza stumbled back into his goons, tripping them over into the table behind them. The group sitting them jumped up and began yelling at the goons. 

“Toph!” Katara cried, “What were you thinking?” Toph didn’t answer. The Big Osoza and his posse had apparently forgotten that she was the one to punch him and were busy squaring up against the table behind them. 

One of the goons yelled, lunging forwards to push a guy from the other table, but the woman standing next to him picked up her chair and swung it crashing down on top of his head. After that it was pure chaos. 

It seemed like everyone in the bar was fighting each other, everyone having forgotten why they were fighting in the first place. One guy tackled another and sent them both crashing through a table while others through plates and food and anything else they could find. 

“Come on,” Toph called, grabbing Aang and Katara’s hands, pulling them towards the door. “Let’s get out of here.”  
They ran through the fight, narrowly avoiding being hit by flying food and were almost at the exit when a shout of “Stop those kids!” rang out from behind them. 

The Big Osoza pulled a few of his goons away from tossing a man over the bar and they began running after them. Aang, Toph and Katara all looked at each other. “Run,” they said at the same time. 

They flew out the door and into the street. “This way!” Katara called leading them to the left, and they took off. A few seconds later a crash and a shout from where they had just been told Toph that the Big Osoza had made his way out of the bar and was now chasing them. 

They sprinted through the streets, the sounds of the goons close behind them. Soon Toph realized they were back in the market where they had started.  
They swerved to avoid some stall parked in the middle of the road, and ducked down a side street. Just as they rounded the corner the sound of wood splintering boomed from the street followed by a distressed wail of “My cabbages!” 

Toph ignored it, and kept running. Finally, they made it back to where they had left Appa and Momo. Each of them collapsed on the ground gasping for breath.  
“Lets...never…..do...that...again,” Aang rasped after a minute. 

“Agreed,” Katara said, “This never happened.” 

They were silent for a second before they all collapsed into fits of laughter. 

“Aw man,” Toph said as their laughing died out , “It’s too bad those guys never got their spicy.” 

“Yeah, “ Aang said, “It’s too bad. Also, Sokka’s coming this way.” 

Katara sat straight up, pulling her and Aang to their feet along with her. “Sokka!” she called, running across the clearing toward him, Toph and Aang close behind. 

“Hey guys!” he called, as they skidded to a stop, “What have you been doing?”

Aang, Katara, and Toph all answered at the same time in an unspoken agreement.  
“Nothing.” 

Sokka laughed. “Man you guys must really be bored then. Anyway, I need your help moving that meteor from last night up to Master Piandao so we can use it to make a sword.” 

“Sure,” Toph said, “ Sounds like fun.” Aang and Katar nodded in agreement. 

“Great! Let’s go!” Sokka cried and led them down the path towards the crash site.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write this to procrastinate finishing my current wip? Maybe, but thats between me and god. Hope you enjoyed this ridiculous thing I wrote. Toph just seems like she's the kind of person to start a bar fight, but idk that could just be me :)


End file.
